I'll Never Be Good Enough

It seems as if the voice in my head I usually call "judgement" at the moment is cloudy, and hard to hear. To put it as simple as I'm able to with my lack of explanation skill; I came here with wanting to work hard for a good future, whereas now I want to enjoy the whole ride until I can't. That probably makes a lot more sense to me than to you, but I think I'm finding what I want. Then again, it could be a play on my mind, wouldn't be the first time. Another side effect of this cloudiness has given me 10x more moral to study for language, and I really liked languages before. I'm spending a lot of time getting better at my spanish fluency, and my French and a little Dutch.

I'm spending my days lazy, usually just in bed in my room, playing guitar, language, and just boring homework. I'm gonna have some fun in the next days hopefully though, and I'm having a lot of fun exploring this new part of me. I hope everyone at home are feeling good, and doing fun stuff. And if there was one thing I wish people would know, it would be that if you ever share a thought of me, you can be certain I've given you a hundred already. I think a lot about home, and people I used to see and know etc.

Sooong

Soo, I made my mother a song for Christmas, gonna play it to her asap! 

There are so many words that I have left unspoken to you.

There are so many feelings I left behind.

If just for one day let’s forget about it all.

Im on my way home but first I’ve got a be a man.  

Mother I miss you so,

don’t you worry about me now.

And my friends you’re not forgotten just hold on.

These days are getting rough but you know I’ll make it through.

This place is wonderful the citylights are shining bright .

If you could see me now I know you’d be so proud.

I’m growing up here, learning how to free my soul.

Mother I miss you so,

don’t you worry about me now.

And my friends you’re not forgotten just hold on

I’m moving forth and I’m not backing down.

This path is hard and I haven’t got time.

This one’s for family this one’s for friends, but most importantly this one’s for you

Mother I miss you so,

don’t you worry about me now.

And my friends you’re not forgotten,

just hold on and think about me.

Keep the good, and throw

all the bad away.

Live in the memories,

and kill what time can’t heal.

To cope in life is easy,

to live it takes a lot.

Share yourself with me,

I’m here for you my friend.

Life Is Half Spent Until We Know What It Is

So Christmas is here again, the one holiday I really don't like. I don't like the stress, the expectations, the madness that comes with it. It's just too much for me to want to handle, but I always find joy in something every Christmas. Jim Carrey as the Grinch is always nice, and so is my anti Christmas songs! I'm not gonna blabber on about how I hate etc, I don't wanna take the spirit away from you who actually like it! So no worries, I'll talk about something supercool instead, which is that I'm going to California in January! I'm gonna go to Disneyland and Universal Studios and just stuuuff! It's gonna be epic. Last night I spent with Dylan and his stepmom Martha at a Hanukkah dinner thing, which was awesome! We played a jew game, and ate jew food xD  At the moment I'm sitting just eating ice cream and thinking about how easy it is to impact people. And how easy it is to forget the people who mean the most to you, which is really bad, and it scares me. 'Cause most of the people who stick there to the end are the people you take for granted. We've all been there, that one person who gives you all you need everyday for so long, and then they go away and you remain with a void that needs to be filled. Luckily for me, that hasn't happened in a long time for me. I've learned to not take my friends for granted, at least for the most part! Haha.

This one goes out to my true friends, which unfortunately is more of you than you think. I love you, I'll never forget the smiles you've given me, the moments you've let me share with you. The good days, the bad days, the hours spent laughing away(and eating taco). I would never be who I am today without you, I'd never be the strong enough to face the world if it wasn't for the nice things you've done to me. Love is a huge underestimation of what I feel for you, no matter how big a cliché it is. But anyways, I appreciate you, that's what I'm trying to say. Every word spoken, every moment spent with you, I love it! :)

Awh you Americans and your love for exaggerating :D
















                                      You're a mean one Mr. Grinch! Love that smile, haha

I'm sorry if this makes me seem like a stereotypical guy, but this girl is probably my dream girl. She's so beautiful, and I feel so hopeless xD Like a fangirl or something…

Let Me In, I'll Bury The Pain

This Saturday was an pretty nice day, at first I was at a Christmas party with the exchange program at this fancy house. There I met a Swedish girl which I could talk Norwegian to, and relate to. It's always nice to be with people you can relate to and talk to about stuff. After the party I went to a Norwegian dinner, and oh my god it was awesome. People were wearing bunad, and Norwegian sweaters! And the dinner was exactly like at home, with the meat and the ricecream and everything! And then we sang Norwegian Christmas songs like "så går vi rundt om en enebærbusk" and stuff like that, I was proud that I was one of the ones who could sing it! The place itself was called "norse hall" which is epic.

It's true as they said, around Christmas the homesickness is worst. I miss my family and my friends, and it's weird that there's still so much left of this long road. I've seen so much, I've experienced more than I ever thought I would. Most of the things happen when I'm on my own, which is quite interesting. But I'm having a lot of fun, and I'm gaining friends just about every day. It's really strange, but I feel that I'm changing, I can feel my mind developing, for better or for worse I don't know. Now not to say that I'm turning into a different person, 'cause I'm not. I'm the same I've always been, and that's the way I like it! I miss my family and friends so much, and I love you all. When I get back we're gonna have so much fun, I can't wait!

Here are a couple of pics from the Norse Hall!

I'm Not Much A Poet, But A Criminal

This is gonna be a hectic week, as I've got a math and physics test this Wednesday. Oh lol reminds me, in Physics we are learning about Force, and when the teacher wrote Force applied as Fapp I started giggling. This place never seizes to surprise me, new things happen every day, new people become friends. It's really nice, and to be honest it makes me not wanna leave. I'm enjoying myself a lot here, the fact that I live in a big city and only a 15min bus ride away from it is great. I have access to whatever I'd like, and great people to share it with. I love hanging out at Dylan's place, his father is British and he knows Norwegian, which makes everything so much more awesome. That's where I go to get my dose of Europe. I'm so tired at the moment, so I'm just waiting for my laundry to be done with drying, then I'll go to sleep. Hopefully the package my mother sent will be here tomorrow, with delicious Norwegian stuff! I'm gonna take pics of some of the christmas neighborhoods here if I remember, 'cause it's kinda crazy haha, Americans and their exaggerating. Oh and one last thing, we had to write a two paragraph essay for English, and I was the only one in the whole class who did it xD Lazy people, haha.

Do You Remember Me?

To start of I'm gonna tell a short story of a boy a sandwich and a peculiar thing. I was walking eating my SubWay as usual, when I see this weird shape-thing in the dark. As I get close I see a fat raccoon sitting on his ass eating, not giving a shit about me standing right next to him eating my sub. It was so awesome, then he got done and just walked into the shadows. I've never seen a wild raccoon before, so everything happening it was quite a "wtf" moment. Anyways, I haven't added pictures in a while so here are some, not very good, but still, it's something.

Despair breathes gently on my clouded mind as I set off on another day with new opportunities. A smile for a smile, and a bag full of nothing. Consumerism(in every thinkable way) is what I've taken to, not quite what I had imagined. I'm breathing, feeling, and seeing. Not always clear, but at least my senses are intact. Further on, here are the pics.



A7X


A Day To Remember


Kingdom Hearts anyone?


Holy fuck yes, it's the master sword! And so many other awesome swords


Final Fantasy


One of my friends from Orycon showed me this xD Lol


Spock's Logic and Gandalf's Beard, so funny names for coffees, at Orycon.