These Days Are Strange, It's True

I admit that it's not always easy, but I am feeling better most of the time. My thoughts run here and there, and sharp pain comes and goes. I'm trying to pull myself through, and I'm managing it to a certain point, which I'm happy with myself. I've come across a lot of new things, tasted new feelings. But most of all I've come to know who my closest ones are! And I couldn't be more happy for having them, they're the reason I can stand tall even when I'm weak. Thank you, thank you for being there for me :)

Now on to the important things! Skyrim came out and holy mother of god it's good. Slaying dragons, dual wielding spells, amazing world graphics. I'm very sure that this as Oblivion will gain the title "game of the year." The same weekend that Skyrim came out, I was at this thing called Orycon. It was a convention filled with geeks, weirdoes, and lovely people. I had a lot of fun and gained some friends. One of them being Samantha, or Sammy as I like to call her. She's a very nice girl. At the convention I was "Scott Summers" and I really like that name, haha I wish I was cyclops. Furthermore, I had my first French lesson today, and it was amazing! I loved it so much, and the teacher told me I was very good with pronunciation even though I'm a beginner. On the bus going home I had a nice chat with one of the girls who works at the Alliance Française. She thought I was 20 or 21, which is probably because of no shaving November. Even my Spanish teacher looked at me and was a bit shocked, haha ^^

Right now at this moment I'm watching Dylan play Skyrim, he's lvl 29 and he's fucking owning the shit out of everyone. Just picked up where I left on Lord of the rings online, and finally got to lvl 31 with my elf Nelthindor.  The employers at 2 different subways now know what I'll order, so they just look at me and say "regular?"  and I love it! I've got some pictures of some stuuuff, which I will upload later. Oh and I've got some videos of Americans trying to pronounce Norwegian stuff! I might upload that too, but just maybe. Have a nice day

She says she's no good with words, but I'm worse!

I'm sitting at Pioneer place or something like that, just chilling and drinking some tea, haha. We we're off school today, so I spent the night at Dylan's place with Sean. First I got to play my new game, Arkham City, which was pretty god damn awesome, never knew Batman had it in him! After that we went to see  A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, and it was so awesome! It featured so many awesome people, two of them being Amir, and Barney Stinson :D It was freakin' epic. Today I'm just gonna chill, maybe hang out with a friend of my from school and jam. Oh and shit, I just paid off Skyrim, tomorrow <3 <3 <3 I can't wait :'D
Have a nice day!

This is the mall I'm at! It's pretty awesome.


 

Never Felt So Sober

I'm starting to get pretty sick of blogging to be honest, but I'll keep on going because I'm such a nice guy! Haha nah, but anyways, the last week or so have been pretty weird to me. I've gone through feelings I didn't know I had, feelings I could do fine without. I've had things brewing inside me for about 2-3 months, and until the last 2-3 days I haven't known what to do with it. It feels like I'm living the biggest cliché ever, but I've finally realized it, life's one great big cliché haha. I've always thought I knew what it meant to live every day like it's your last, but I didn't, not until now. Life is not about wanting to be somewhere else, or wishing for someone, it's about taking what you have right now and make happiness of it. Using it, caring for it, building the bed you sleep on.  I'm living life as much as I can, I'm spending so much money, and I don't give a shit, I'm happy, and I deserve it 8D There's no reason to worry about me anymore, there never was, but if you did now is the time to stop. I'm here, I'm ready, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Now, just to make it clear, I know this must seem as if I'm very swingy when it comes to my mood, and I have been so lately. But now it's gone, I'm sure that I've finally opened my eyes up for the better of everything. Anyways, I'm gonna start learning French from a private teacher! I'm looking forward to it a lot, I went to this awesome old fashioned French place and they were so awesome. I'm spending everyday on something new, figuring out new ways to live (: Missing my friends at home though, won't lie. But I'm getting so many new friends here, learning new things everyday! I love it

Here are some pictures! I won't upload that many, I'm sorry xD


So far away, my heart is divided into three pieces. But my life is with me always (:





Fortune cookie I got at a chinese restaurant 8DD


BAMF!




I'm from America, I'm from America C:



This is the start of November, around 1st, and it's how I look before no shaving November then, I can't wait to see after!



This is so American xD I just had to take a pic!



I had to buy it XD The store was called "Jelly Beans" But there were no jelly beans ): But at least I got bacon toothpaste <3

What The Fuck's So Wrong With Me?

I'm going through what seems to be the hardest phase of my life. There is not one reason as to why, there are many, and I'm not going tot explain them. I do however, want to say; there's not a thing I wouldn't give to be back home in my family's and my friend's arms. I'm trying my best to keep up with life, but it's hard, and it's getting harder. I've been quite unhappy for little while, though I haven't really noticed until now. Everything is coming out at once. I'm really not usually the person to complain (at least I don't think so), but this time I am. I'm starting to wonder if I'm stupid, if I somehow have managed to overlook it for so many years. If my reality really just is a close minded view, and that what I want and feel is plainly my stupidity. I'm not doing as well in school as I wished for. Now there are a lot of reasons for this, but I still feel like I'm an idiot. I feel like I'm facing a wall in every direction I look, that it's closing in on me. The closer the walls get, the more I choke. I'm well aware of how much of a (with lac of a better word) pussy I must seem, writing this. But to be honest, this blog is for myself mainly, and I need this out of me.

I'm completely okei when I'm with my friends here, which I'll try to make more of the time. But when I'm not, I'm walking around as unstable as the tip of an horizontal needle on a table. I can feel myself being torn apart, but I'm also vaguely feeling myself being built up again. When you're at the bottom there's not much to do but to think and wonder. The main thing in my head is as I've brought up earlier, if I truly am the stupid and ignorant one. I feel incapable at life, at living, and at being someone. Jeg blir gal. Er jeg gal? Er jeg dust? Er jeg? Pust. Er jeg gal? It's from a song called Hat & Love (hat=hate) It means "I'm turning insane. Am I insane? Am I an idiot? Am I? Breathe. Am I insane?  I'm sorry for saying all of this. Again, I realize it must sound pretty fucked up.  And as I've said, there's is not one single reason for all of this, though it may seem like it. I hope this part of my life will be over soon. I'm ready for change, I'm ready for living. So let me go now and live, please. And may I be changed to whatever is considered good. I've got a lot of pictures which I may upload later. I'm tired I'm going to sleep