I'm going through what seems to be the hardest phase of my life. There is not one reason as to why, there are many, and I'm not going tot explain them. I do however, want to say; there's not a thing I wouldn't give to be back home in my family's and my friend's arms. I'm trying my best to keep up with life, but it's hard, and it's getting harder. I've been quite unhappy for little while, though I haven't really noticed until now. Everything is coming out at once. I'm really not usually the person to complain (at least I don't think so), but this time I am. I'm starting to wonder if I'm stupid, if I somehow have managed to overlook it for so many years. If my reality really just is a close minded view, and that what I want and feel is plainly my stupidity. I'm not doing as well in school as I wished for. Now there are a lot of reasons for this, but I still feel like I'm an idiot. I feel like I'm facing a wall in every direction I look, that it's closing in on me. The closer the walls get, the more I choke. I'm well aware of how much of a (with lac of a better word) pussy I must seem, writing this. But to be honest, this blog is for myself mainly, and I need this out of me.
I'm completely okei when I'm with my friends here, which I'll try to make more of the time. But when I'm not, I'm walking around as unstable as the tip of an horizontal needle on a table. I can feel myself being torn apart, but I'm also vaguely feeling myself being built up again. When you're at the bottom there's not much to do but to think and wonder. The main thing in my head is as I've brought up earlier, if I truly am the stupid and ignorant one. I feel incapable at life, at living, and at being someone. Jeg blir gal. Er jeg gal? Er jeg dust? Er jeg? Pust. Er jeg gal? It's from a song called Hat & Love (hat=hate) It means "I'm turning insane. Am I insane? Am I an idiot? Am I? Breathe. Am I insane? I'm sorry for saying all of this. Again, I realize it must sound pretty fucked up. And as I've said, there's is not one single reason for all of this, though it may seem like it. I hope this part of my life will be over soon. I'm ready for change, I'm ready for living. So let me go now and live, please. And may I be changed to whatever is considered good. I've got a lot of pictures which I may upload later. I'm tired I'm going to sleep
Aw, baby<3 Det blir sikkert bedre etterhvert, skjønner at du savner hjem, vi savner deg også, og du må huske å ikke stenge deg inne og bare tenke hele tiden, for da blir du gal, vær med vennene dine og prøv å ha det gøy den tiden som er igjen før du kommer tilbake, husk på at du har masse venner hjemme som savner deg og gleder seg til du kommer hjem, det hjelper kanskje ikke så mye, men det er noe<3 Jeg er veldig glad i deg<3
SvarSlettdette høres ikke bra ut. er her for deg, alltid.
SvarSletthakunah matatah. Livet gaar videre.
SvarSlettDu kommer deg gjennom dette paa null komma niks skal du se, Bolla (; og naa som vi har funnet en kur mot alt dette ogsaa.. Saa gaar det oppover. Du liker deg jo i hoyden. .
If u know what i mean (;