Ik Weet Niet

I don't like to talk a lot about my plans, because I'm constantly trying to improve them in my own ways; which means they often change. Though I've found something now that I'm certain that I burn for, so I decided to write a bit about it, my plan. So around Christmas I had an epiphany, which made me think a lot, and I decided to focus on language. I'm currently set on spending three or four years of my life in the Netherlands, which I'm really exited about. I'm going to take this year again, which is why this will happen in two years. I'm going to spend a lot of time studying, and working to earn money so I don't have to work when I'm there. I will be studying sociology in Dutch, and I'll major/take my bachelors degree in exactly this. After that I'll take a masters, but I don't know where yet. And I'm now concerned with it yet as it's too far in the future for it to matter. After I get the masters I'll have enough studies to get an at least decent job with good pay within sociology. This however, is not my main plan. With the studies, the language skills, and the experience I will have by then, I think I'll try to get a job within the foreign department of Norway, and basically become an ambassador or just a diplomat. They take in between 15-25 in UD (foreign department) every year, with around 300-600 people applying. This is why I'm getting a steady job first, instead of focusing everything on this. I'm a pessimist, so I'll grow my future under me slowly instead of rushing into it, 'cause I'm sure if I did I'd lose everything.


UD looks at your experience, what kind of education you have (though the idea is that education doesn't matter much), and your attitude is important as well. With a masters in sociology I'll have a better chance. And with the fact that I'd take it in the Netherlands, in Dutch, will be a good perk as well. In addition to this, I've completed a year in the U.S. All of this will when (if) I've done it show how interested I am in culture and language. But this is far, far in the future. I'm more focused on taking it easy, and get settled with the fact that I change my mind often. I just want to have fun while doing everything, and travel now that I have time. I really hope I'll get the chance to go through with this dream, it would be amazing. I guess only the future will tell, and I can't wait to see it unravel in front of me. Oh wait, one of the most significant things, I almost forgot xD I'm currently looking at these cities to study in: Amsterdam (duuh), Utrecht, Rotterdam, and Tilburg. These are the four places that had the schools with the subjects I want to study, and they all seem pretty good. I've only been in Rotterdam and Amsterdam before. Or, more correct, I've been to Tilburg too, but not much.  So yeah that's it, I'll have a close look at the Netherlands this summer to look at the schools and to learn the language.

"Just look up to the stars, and believe who you are; 'cause it's quite allright, and so long goodbye."

Bacon soap, bacon toothpaste, and now bacon chocolate. Oh god take me home to Norway where we have good food and candy xD 

I was in Seattle this weekend, visited the music museum. Kurt has played this guitar 0_0 And I've seen it. Together with Hendrix stuff, and of course drums from Dave and Krist's bass.

  The mole I chose to call Lucky for it not being run over, even though it was running in circles xD

 I'm gonna miss you Lucky

Choose Your Fate

It's the 22nd of May now, and it just gets weirder and weirder the close it gets to June. I'm almost going home. I can still remember all the feelings I had when I first came here. I've changed so much, for the better without a doubt. But I've also tried to stay true to who I am, and where I'm from. I've never been more proud of my roots than I am now. I've never appreciated my family, my friends, and love more than I do now.

A funny thing to mention is that now, after 8 months or so, my English is getting worse. My Spanish and Dutch are both getting better though, as to make up for my lack of English and Norwegian speaking skills xD I'm really enjoying learning languages, and I hope it'll stay that way. I find it hard to imagine myself fluent in either language though, for some weird reason. Even though I'm getting better, fluency just seem so far away.

Some recent events that have been happening to me have been first of all that I got to see Escape the Fate some time ago, which was a very good night for me. Then the release of Diablo 3, which took away my social life for a week. It didn't disappoint at all, except for the server down time which seems to be all the time. I didn't mention it, but ever since the 1st of April I've been working out at least 3 times a week; and I think I'm finally starting to see a difference xD Could be in my head though, you never know. Finally the Norwegian national day just passed, it was the 17th of May. It was amazing! So much broken Norwegian, so many interesting Norwegian immigrants to talk to. There musth ave been around 100-200 maybe even more people in the parade! And of all people I got to hold up the flag in the front of the parade. The American flag, with a girl holding the Norwegian flag. The marching band from a local high school played Ja vi Elsker (yes we love) and I sang with all of my voice, so proud of my fedreland :) I've never felt such honor in my entire life I think.  Thanks to Sons of Norway, the Norse Hall, and of course my good friend Carl Paasche for introducing me and giving me the opportunity.

To end this entry, I'll talk a little about how I feel in general now. I look back to last year, and I see a little kid, not understanding much more than misery and corruption in the world. I see that I was an ignorant little prick, haha. I've come to know how to appreciate true love, and what not to take for granted. I'm so happy about this change  that I could choke. I'm not sure if I've been in this country too long, or too little; all I know is that I needed this. I needed it to live with purpose, I needed it to get motivation. And lastly, I needed it to become who I am. I can finally say that I have an identity, and that I'm proud of having the hopes and dreams I have.  About 23 days left in the city of roses, Portland.

Lol, I was looking for internet xD 

I snapped a terrible picture, but this guy looked exactly like Otto. He was the driver of the yellow school bus I was on for a field trip. It was hilarious xD He says he hears it all the time. Oh the resemblance...

We had a couple of weeks with it being sunny and between 20 and 35 degrees Celsius. It was amazing! Sitting outside with Kathryn in guitar class. 

So this is my 17' beast that I use to play Diablo. Isn't he beautiful? Look how small my macbook pro looks compared xD 

Bulletproof Heart

I can feel that I'm falling back to my ordinary routines.  It only took me 8 months to get used to America, haha.I've got 60 days or 8 weeks left here, and I don't know what to do, say, or feel. I've experienced more than I ever thought I would; I've gotten to do everything I wanted and even more. I'm not done yet, I've still got a couple of things to cross off the list. However, it does really feel as if a lifelong journey is about to end. It's funny how 8 months have felt like years and years, yet it has gone by so fast. I honestly can't believe everything that has happened.

The funniest thing happened a while ago; as I looked at myself in the mirror like so many times before, and I noticed that I'm not a little kid anymore. And it's started to become clear how close I am to being 18. 18, it has always seemed so far away. I've always thought of 18-year-olds as grown ups, and pretty old people. Now that I'm just a couple months away from it myself, I feel old xD I already feel like life's slipping away too quickly. I'm gonna keep living life the way I want it though, wasting the wasted time and living when I feel like it, 'cause there's nothing else I'd rather do.

Letting Go Has Never Looked Better

Oh dear future, please lead me gently and give me what I need to get where I want. I can't wait 'til I come back home. As you know my opinion on going home is so divided.  But one thing is for certain, I'm finally done with letting worthless people take the best of me. No more. With that being said, I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, I can't wait. I'll also dye it black. How short I'm gonna cut it, is still uncertain. Though as always, it won't be shorter than what I like, so no, not short short. Today  was such a beautiful day, and I took advantage of it and went over to Hawthorne. Didn't see any extremely abnormal people today, which was surprising.

Furthermore, I can't even come close to imagine how it's gonna be to see my friends again. Seriously, I can't xD I'm sorry brothers and sisters of Arendal, but I no longer remember what you feel like. I hope you'll be good to me, and show me in two months when I return to the place of my heart. Oh nothing can compare to Arendal. It's like we say "borte bra, men hjemme best <3 " and I really do stand by that. To all you people living in Arendal thinking "there's nothing for me here" and "I wanna get out of this boring place".. You're right, it is a pretty boring place, but holy shit it's full of love you'll feel nowhere else. I wouldn't wanna have been any other place growing up, and it is the place I wanna be buried haha.
The heart of my life, and in my opinion the heart of the strongest most loyal friends there are.
  

All You Need Is Love

So, once again I feel my mind change. I won't go into details, but I'm starting to believe certain things in life just aren't within my arm's reach. Anyway, this springbreak I've spent at the pacific west coast, right by the beach(duh).  I've experienced a lot of interesting and fun stuff c: I've seen sea lions (so fat, and so funny), seals, vultures, octopuses, sharks,  and so many other funny animals. I've gotten to swim and fish for crabs; I even got to drive a boat. I've gotten all these opportunities thanks to my good friend Thorvald, who is a Norwegian American, and his wonderful parents. Especially his father Carl. He's been great to me, and we've had a lot fun haha.

Furthermore, I really want your opinion on something. That goes for anyone who read his! I'm heavily considering a new tattoo (not now, but soonish). If you want to give me your opinion (I would really really appreciate it) please pm me on facebook or wherever, just not here xD  I can't say that your opinion will matter that much, 'cause in the end I am the one getting the tattoo, so I will follow whatever I think, but it would still be nice to hear your opinion. So here's the thing, I'm currently looking at two symbols. One is the symbol for lust (picture further down), and the kanji for love (picture also further down). Where I'd want it would be on my inner arm, between my hand and the middle of the arm. My question for you is: which one of them? Maybe both, one on each arm? Or do you have any places you think it would look better? Oh and just so you know, I really don't give a shit about originality, so the fact that kanjis are overused does not matter to me at all.  Thank you so much if you bother to give me some of your time. Here's the pictures:


The lust one

Out Of Time

I’ve never felt so sober.
I’ve never felt the low that I feel tonight.
Your words made everything drag on and on.
I finally found her,
and when I did I just couldn’t make things right.
Is this really happening?
Oh god I think I just ruined my life.


What the fuck am I doing?
I can’t tell the difference from wrong and right.
I second guess my decisions,
cause I haven’t been this person in my whole life.
I think I need something new here,
but I keep longing for what I had.
No need for second opinions.
I do the best I can to ruin what I have,
come on.


Don’t think you’ve got to go it alone here;
I’ve got nothing left to hide.
You've got time, just make up your mind.


I thought this was what you wanted;
someone who gets everything right.
I thought this was what you wanted;
someone to put you first in their life.
'Cause we’re running out of time.


Let's have three cheers for the new year.
Here's to hoping it's not as bad.
This wasn't part of my vision.
The optimist in me swore we could make this last, but no.
You ruined my favorite records;
I listen to them and think of you.
I just hope you remember
all of the countless times that I believed in you, for what?


Don’t think you’ve got to go it alone here;
I’ve got nothing left to hide.
You've got time, just make up your mind


I thought this was what you wanted;
someone who gets everything right.
I thought this was what you wanted;
someone to put you first in their life.
'Cause we’re running out of time.


Just know that it kills me
when I hear anything to do with you;
You won't see it, but believe me.
I need to be right where you are.
You know that I’m leaving,
and you won't hear until a year from now.
But this kills me;
'Cause now I hate that everything's, everything's about you.


I thought this was what you wanted;
Someone who gets everything right.
I thought this was what you wanted;
Someone to put you first in their life.
'Cause we’re running out of time


Don’t think you’ve got to go it alone here;
I’ve got nothing left to hide.
You've got time, just make up your mind.


A Day To Remember - Out Of Time 

Darkest Of Reveries

There are 88 days until I go home, and I've been here for 202 days. I really don't wanna leave xD But I've got a lot of things to do, and people to see, so of course it's gonna be amazing. The biggest thing is gonna be to come back to an over inflated state, where everything costs 3-4 times more. I'm thinking of booking a couple of tickets for Escape The Fate and Attack Attack! But I'm not sure if it's worth the 20 bucks a ticket yet haha.  Anyways, here are some pics.

Awwww yeeaaah! XXXTM. Love her signature

The Hollywood Kills, my new favorite band! :D

 It's a bit hard to see, but I really want this tattooed. Without the text of course though. The symbol for lust on the inside of my arm. Hmm, what do you think? Pm me xD